


Double Dates Are Twice As Fun

by starrycelesta



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrycelesta/pseuds/starrycelesta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat and Terezi meet up with John and Vriska at the park for a picnic and a double date.</p><p>I wrote this for Homestuck Secret Santa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double Dates Are Twice As Fun

Doing his best to flatten his mass of hair, Karkat Vantas grimaced. His face reflected back at him in the mirror, and he didn't like what he saw: a swath of dark and unmanageable hair which stuck out in the most inconvenient places, thick eyebrows, and red eyes which were far from natural. Across the room, his girlfriend Terezi was waiting for him, impatiently tapping her foot. In form, she was intensely angular, with a pointed and narrow nose, thin lips, spiked hair, and jagged red sunglasses to disguise her blindness. If Karkat didn't know that Terezi was blind, he would never have guessed it. She knew her way around better than he did, and she had never needed a seeing-eye dog to help her.

"I thought it was just us going out tonight," Karkat moaned, still yanking a comb through his hair. 

"Come on Karkat, don't be such a party pooper," Terezi said. "It's just John and Vriska. They just started dating, and I want to prove that we're the cuter couple, forever shattering Vriska's self-esteem." She laughed, a high-pitched noise which used to grate on Karkat's nerves but now no longer bothered him. 

"John is a fucking moron, and I don't want to spend more time around him than I have to, listening to him jabber on about his stupid fucking interests and make asinine and blunt comments about every little thing. That guy is a jackass, and it's not as if his partner is any better. Vriska flirts which everyone within ten feet of her like some kind of gelatinous relationship monster." 

"No need to turn this into one of your dramas Karkat. Besides, Vriska is my best friend. She only flirts with you to get on my nerves." 

"I can't believe I agreed to be involved in your stupid, petty rivalry. I feel so fucking used." 

"Oh you'll get over it," Terezi dismissed, smiling. "After all," she added, walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his waist, putting her lips next to his neck, "I'll make it worth your while." 

Blushing, Karkat stammered, "I guess I could make this double date shit work." 

"I knew you'd find the stamina in you," Terezi laughed, nipping Karkat's ear playfully as she stepped back. 

"Who even does double dates anymore? It's like we're stuck in the 1950s. I feel anachronistic as hell." 

"Will you ever stop preening? Your hair isn't going to be flat, and we're going to be late." 

"We're meeting up in the park for a picnic. It's not even fucking possible to be late. Whose idea was the picnic anyway. What are we, kindergartners again?" 

"It was John's idea. At least his sister Jane helped him cook." 

"Oh yeah, at least I can be happy that we won't get food poisoning. Thank god. My whole perspective on this afternoon has changed, thanks Terezi." 

Rolling her eyes, Terezi yanked him away from the mirror and pulled him out the door of their apartment. "I'm driving," she said as they left the apartment complex and hopped into their car. "And I don't want to hear any more whining, Mr. Crankypants Vantas." 

At the park, Vriska and John were already setting up the picnic, laughing and smiling. The blanket was checkered like something out of a storybook, and occasionally John and Vriska would touch, wrapping their arms around each other’s waists, entwining fingers, pecking each other’s cheeks. They moved in tandem, and even the colors of their clothes coordinated. 

"They look so happy together," Karkat noted. 

"They think they're so fucking great," Terezi lamented. "We're going to have to be pretty damn cute to match up with them." 

"All this time I thought I was the overly dramatic one in the relationship. I don't want to hear any more shit about my taste in movies after this." 

Vriska heard Terezi and Karkat’s bickering and looked over their way, pushing her long blonde hair out of her face. "Hiiii, losers!" she shouted. John muttered something to her, and she burst into laughter. 

By the time Terezi and Karkat had reached the picnic blanket, Terezi aggressively gripping Karkat's hand, Vriska's laughter had subsided. John was smiling with the corner of his mouth, his dark hair pushed back as if he had just gotten out of bed. The dazed looked in his eyes and the faint smudge of black lipstick on his cheek gave Karkat a good idea of what John and Vriska had been up to before they had set up for the date. God, they just couldn't keep their hands of each other for five minutes, could they? Karkat glanced over to Terezi, vaguely wishing that they could be as close as that, and then wincing as her hand tightened around his, cutting off the circulation in his fingers. "I still can't believe that you two ended up together," Terezi began. 

"Assholes of a feather flock together," John joked, pushing his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose. 

"John's fantastic," Vriska added. "Tavros was such a wuss, and Eridan was so clingy. Like damn. The real question is why I ever dated either of those dweebs." 

Formalities out of the way, they all sat down, fidgetting awkwardly until they each found a comfortable position on the blanket. Vriska pulled some sandwiches out of the picnic basket. "Anyone hungry?" she asked. 

"No, they only came for our glorious conversation," John said sarcastically. "Who needs food when you've got entertainment like us?" 

As Vriska handed the sandwiches out, an awkward silence fell. Vriska and Terezi would exchange passive aggressive comments which verged on flirtatious as John and Karkat threw in bitter remarks. They were a strange group, thrown together through odd circumstance. Terezi and Vriska had grown up together, best friends and competitiors since childhood. Karkat had known both of them since he was young, and for as long as he could remember he had been hopelessly in love with Terezi. Of course, he still was, although things weren't always as rosy as he had imagined them. Sometimes he curled up alone in his room, clutching a pillow to his chest and watching silly romantic comedies, dreaming of what life would be like if Terezi would just be the loving heroine for once. 

Now that they were adults, Karkat, Terezi, and Vriska were in college together. At college, they had met John, an obnoxious boy who got off on the wrong foot with Karkat and Terezi. For some reason, he and Vriska had clicked instantly. Eventually, Karkat and Terezi realized that John wasn't an annoying douche all the time and began to tolerate him. Still, things were tense. 

Whatever bad things John was, though, it was impossible to say that he wasn't a good match for Vriska. Once they had become friends, Vriska's entire outlook on life had changed. She became a much nicer person; even though she was still overdramatic and self-interested, she began to feel bad about the way she treated some people. When she had first started college, she went through a flurry of failed relationships, but now that she and John were dating, her life was back on track. They balanced each other. Maybe their brands of rudeness simply cancelled each other out, but whatever it was, they were better people when they were together. 

For what it was worth, Terezi and Vriska were best friends. Even though Terezi agreed to the double date mainly to compete with Vriska, she still wanted to like John. Karkat was less interested, but he was supportive of Terezi. 

So here they all were, munching on sandwiches and glancing at each other. 

Unnerved by the silence, Karkat asked John about himself. "We all grew up together like the fucking Brady Bunch or some other creepy familial 1960s shit," he said, gesturing to Terezi, Vriska, and himself. "All I know about you is that you watched a fuckton of terrible movies when you were growing up." 

"Excuse you Mr. Adam Sandler," John answered. "There's nothing really special about the way I grew up, though. I was really close to my dad, and I was really into pulling pranks on people..." 

"Was?" Vriska laughed. "Just this morning you switched around the drawers in my dresser so I couldn’t find anything." 

"Classic," he said, smiling. 

"Also," Vriska said, "Karkat clearly doesn't understand anything about movies. Nic Cage is pretty much the ultimate babe." She leaned into John's shoulder briefly, reassuring him that she respected his taste even though Karkat didn't. 

Moving from subject to subject, the conversation picked up. Soon, everyone was laughing, both at and with each other. 

Looking at the group from the other side of the park, one would assume that they had been friends forever. Karkat would never admit it— in fact he complained about the date as soon as he and Terezi got back to their apartment— but he enjoyed himself. Somewhere in his heart, there was even a part of him that wanted to do it again.


End file.
